'His heart still beats strong to give life': How an organ donation united 2 families

Originally published on October 23, 2018

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Two years after losingher 20-year-old son Jeff to suicide, Pat Loder met the transplantrecipient who got his heart.

"When I laid my head in on his chest I heard my son,"Lodertold The Current's Anna Maria Tremonti.

"We could not have picked a better man,likehe was a match in so many ways it wasn't only the organ match."

On Sept. 25, the Loder family made the trip from their home inHappy Valley-Goose Bay, N.L., to meet the recipient, Rob Buttle,at his sister's house just outsideOttawa. The Lodersfound him after he shared some clues in a letter to the family.

The second that Loderhugged Buttleshe said there was an instant connection "on a whole different level." Her daughter, Jodi, who was the first to embrace Buttle when he opened the door, calls it "a feeling of home."

"She jumped into my arms," Buttletold Tremonti, of thefirst meeting with the Loderfamily.

Jodi Loder listens to her late brother's heart beat in another chest

6 years ago

Duration 0:39

Jodi Loder listens to her brother Jeff's heart in Robert Buttle's body.

The feeling was mutual for Buttleand his family.

"I think Pat was right behind her as far as hugs and you just don't do that to people you've never met before unless there is a real connection and there was a connection," he said.

"I knew that theywere good people, a good family and that sort of thing,but to actually see her, Patit's where it all came together," he said.

For Loderand her family, it wasn't so much finding Jeff's heart but knowing Buttle'slife storythat was important to them.

She described Buttleas not only a loving family man but someone who mentors young people and who has a huge circle of friends all qualities that Lodersays makes him a "a good man."

"From our side of it, hisheart still beats strong to give life to Rob," Lodersaid, of her son.

Ever since the transplant, Buttlewantedto know about Jeffand his family. Both families agree the similarities between the men are "uncanny."

"The Loder family, and especially Jeff, grew up the same way as I grew up," Buttlesaid.

"It's nice to know that the heart came from a person that had theexact same lifestyle as I do."

Buttlehas been warned that hisfamily has just inherited amassivefamily, Lodersaid.

"As Newfoundland and Labradorians, we always take people in under our wing. So Rob doesn't realize but he thinks he justbecame a part of a family of three there's probably about 320."

'That heart's happy'

After meeting Buttle, Loderfeelsher son's heart hasa purpose now keeping a good man alive. Her son's heart lives with joy, she said.

"If [Buttle]can drop a line in the water a few times a yearor be around a group of people laughing and having fun, right, then that heart's happy," Lodersaid, referring to their sharedlove for fishing.

Loder hopes she inspires others to consider organ donation as a way to keep people like Buttle alive. In the face of going through such a dark period in life, there's a silver lining that Jeff's donated organs have beengiven to patients in need, she said.

"If you can, donating organs is not going to hurt you. It will help you.

"It won't change your grieving process, but it will give you a ray of hope."

Click listen above to hear the full interview with Pat Loder and Rob Buttle.

Produced by Ines Colabrese