DIY funerals: caring for dead bodies reduces stigma of death for the living

DIY Funerals: Rite at Home is a five-part radio series exploring home funerals. The series runs July 4 to July 8 on CBC Radio One's afternoon shows in B.C.

Caring for a dead body may help people cope with grief and reduce stigma around death, according to members of religious and cultural groups who take care of their own dead.

Jewish and Muslim communities have always prepared the bodies of members of their faith for burial. For people who are not part of a community that follows this hands-on approach, DIY funerals can provide the opportunity to personally care for dead loved ones.

"The direct experience around a dead body can help heighten for us and enhance for us the awareness that this is a natural process," said Tom Esakin, an interfaith spiritual director and co-founder of the Vancouver Death Cafes.

"There is actually something quite sacred in being around the body," Esakin said. "That familiarity will help alleviate the fear."

Experience helps conquer fear

The Chevra Kadisha is a special society of Jewish men and women who wash and sit with the dead bodies before burial. Howard Jampolsky, executive director of Vancouver's Schara Tzedeck Cemetery Board, has participated in this ritual.

"These things have been done for thousands of years," said Jampolsky.

"It's a very comforting and supportive atmosphere that surrounds the whole process."

Jampolsky was afraid the first time he washed a dead body, but "very, very quickly," it became easy for him to do. Jampolsky said preparing someone for burial was a fulfilling task that helped him with his own fears.

"People are afraid of deceased bodies, and I am not really sure why," said Jampolsky. "I certainly was myself. I am not anymore."

Awareness of death heightens experience of life

The Muslim faith also takes a hands-on approach to death.

Yahya Momla, imam of Masjid al Salaam Mosque and Education Centre in Burnaby, said that in many Muslim countries, bodies are traditionally washed at home. In Canada, they are usually bathed for burial at a mosque by members of their community.

"It is an obligation upon the living in the Muslim community to wash the deceased," said Momla. "I feel that this is an honour that I am fulfilling."

"Muslims are encouraged to remember death as frequently as we can," said Momla, comparing his faith to other cultures where death might be stigmatized and not talked about.

By experiencing and remembering death, he said, people can remain focused in their life.

With files from CBC Radio One's On the Coast