'God got an earful:' Nurse shares personal memories of Terry Fox's final days

It wasSurrey's Alison Ince(formerly Sinson) who, 35 years ago,informed the world Terry Fox had died with these words:

"Terry has completed the last kilometre of his marathon. A short while ago, at approximately twenty-five to five B.C. time, he died," she said at the time.

"He died surrounded by love the love of his family, all of whom were with himand the love and prayers of the entire nation.He has left us a legacy of hope, which I think, will live and become a part of our nation's heritage.He was a friend. And I'm going to miss him."

As the then Deputy of Director of Nursing at Royal Columbian Hospital, Ince, now 81,was caregiver, manager andmedia spokeswoman, helping the Foxfamily through Terry's final days.

Here are some of her personal memories as told to CBC News:

'Sometimes you need humour'

When Terry was admitted the week before he diedI actually moved onto the unit and lived there for the rest of the week.The head nurse had me listed as a patient with dementia. She said if I didn't have it then I probably would have it in the next few days.Sometimes you need humour to be able to get through things.

It was simply easier for me to be there. We were doing the PR and the awkward questions, everything, got put through to me I was the complaints department. Everything got diffused through me because we were trying to protect the family as much as possible.

The day after he came in from Thunder Bay we had to put in 10dedicated telephone lines and staff them from eight in the morning until 10at night just simply to take all calls about him and for him. I had begun to realize the effect he had on people across Canada and around the world.

'I would smile back'

If I'm ill I want someone to hold my hand butTerry was not that kind of person. He wanted somebody to be there, but not touching him or holding his hand. This one evening I was worried about his family because [his parents] Betty and Rollywere exhausted. I said to them, 'you go home and get some rest,I'll sit with him.' And that's what I did. I spent five hours withhim, just sitting. We never said a word, either of us. But every now and again he would open his eyes and smile at me. And I would smile back.

There's one photo of my rear end pushing an empty wheelchair that Terry refused to sit in. We were going in to meet themedia and he was exhaustedbut he would not sit in the wheelchair. But I managed to get him in the wheelchair and we went down the elevator. But then he promptly got up and walked.

No you can't have that picture.

'God got an earful'

Because Terry had been such a fighterI think everybody was hoping that he'd do it again. And when it became obvious unfortunately that was not going to happen, I can tell you God got an earful from me.

Dawn was just beginning to break when Terry died. It was at 4:35 in the morning.I was incredibly privileged that the Fox family asked me to be with them.Although it was difficult, there was a lot of peace and a lot of love there. I believe it's the Portuguese who talk about the 'good death.'I really believe that's what he experienced.

It probably took some time, getting the family organized. Betty and Judy and Rollyneeded to get home we wanted to get them away before the media knew.

After I made sure the family was okay, I walked over to the part of the hospital where the media had assembled. They had stayed there all night. As soon as they saw me walk in they knew he had gone.

'What were we going to say?'

I had met with Dr. Antonik, the hospital'smedical director,and the members of the Canadian Cancer Agencywho Terry had been operating under to a large degree.The things was, what were we going to say? Finally I said, 'just let me talk from my heart,' which is what I did.

1981: Terry Fox dies

43 years ago

Duration 2:23

One month before his 23rd birthday, Terry Fox passes away in a B.C. hospital. Aired June 28, 1981 on CBC's The National.

Looking back on it it's quite funny. I couldn't look at anyone in the room. I think it was Sheldon Turcottewho was there for you guys [CBC]I couldn't look at him because I was trying not to cry. I was focusing on the clock on the wall. Your cameraman told me two days later that he wasn't sure what he was getting on film because he was crying his eyes outand he couldn't see to focus properly.

'Some were barracudas'

The media was really very good but some were barracudas. The day we held the press conference to announce Terry was dying I had a guy call me from one of the radio stations. I said I can read you our release and he said, 'I don't want to know that. I want to know what his face looked like when you told him [he was dying].'I just quietly put the phone down because I thought if I open my mouth I'm going to say something I'll be sorry for. So I just hung up.

I was very emotional. I personally had become very fond of Terry and the whole family.I firstmet him when he had his amputation, he was just over 18 at the time. He was on our pediatric unit andI was the maternal and child care coordinator then. Theybecame like family.

I do not subscribe to the belief that you must not become emotionally involved with your patients.I also believe that you cannot become so emotionally involved that you cannot do your joband cannot look after the person. There is a very fine line you have to walk at times.

I've said this talking to many, many groups. To me it's about the awesome power of one. After Terry I could never again say 'well, I can't do anything about that because I'm only one person.'

He was only one person. Look at what he's done. Look at the legacy he's left us.

Incewill be speaking at theAldergroveTerry Fox Run Sunday. She is a longtime Terry Fox Foundation volunteer.