'Stop bullyingfor good': What you can do if someone you know is being bullied

Stand up.Speak out. Stop bullyingfor good.

T-shirts with those three lines, written in big block letters on a bright red stop sign, were handed out during avigil forDevan Bracci-Selvey Wednesday night a striking visual of the powerful anti-bullying message that's being shared after the 14-year-old was fatally stabbed outside Sir Winston Churchill Secondary School Monday.

An 18-year-old and 14-year-old are charged with first-degree murder.

It's not yet clear how big of a role bullying played in Devan's death, but police say that aspect of their investigation is "growing" and the teen's mother has tearfully shared someof what her son suffered through.

Shari-Ann Selvey saidthe abuse started on the second day of school and that Devanhad been harassed every day since.

"For a month, we've been trying to get this dealt with," said Selvey. "All schools have the same policies, zero tolerance and zero bullying, and everyone belongs. And it's not true, and no one is held accountable for it, and then stuff like this happens."

The Hamilton-Wentworth District School Board (HWDSB)has confirmedbullying incidents that targetedDevan were reported toschool administrators and that the board would be handing that information over to police.

Tracy Vaillancourt, aprofessor at the University of Ottawa whose specialities includebullying in schools and children's mental health, said what happened toDevanunderlines the factbullying must be taken seriouslyand acted onearly.

"I think that here there's obviously a systemfailurewhen we think about the fact that we have a young manwho was murdered," she said.

When asked whether he felt the HWDSBhad failed Devan, education directorManny Figueiredo said it's premature for him to say for sure, but he doesn't believe that's the case.

"I don'tbelievethe school had failed him based on what what I know. Once we do our inquiry then we'llknow did the board fail? Or is there something else we'regoing to learn through this police investigation that we just don't know right now?"

Mother of stabbing victim says son was targeted by bullies

5 years ago

Duration 2:47

The mother of the Hamilton teenager who was stabbed outside his school, told reporters that Devan Bracci-Selvey was targeted by bullies and everyone failed" him.

So what should a person do if they're being bullied or see it happening to someone else?

Here'swhat Vaillancourt suggests.

What can students do?

The professor said it's important that kids speak up about what's happening and report it to a trusted adult.

"Students need to tell us and alot of times they suffer in silence," she added. "We cannot change what we arenot privilege to knowing. They need to tell us and trust us that we'll do right by them."

During a media update Wednesday Det.-Sgt. Steve Bereziukalso shared some advice for any kids who are being bullied.

"You gotta tell somebody absolutely, tell school staff, tell someone you trust. If it warrants calling police, call police," he said. "Don't bottle that up, don't hide that."

What can parents do?

Parents need to listen, work with the school and always try to keep a level head, according to Vaillancourt.

"A lot of times they want to do it alone and they think the school isn'tgoing to do anythingand that's not typically the case."

Her advice is similar to the HWDSB'spolicy, which say parents and students shouldn't feel aloneand must contact a principal or vice-principal immediately if bullying has occurred.

The board encourages parents to be proactive and call with any questions or concerns, rather than reacting after several incidents have happened. It also says parents should value differences and promote sensitivity toward others, as well as monitor children's behaviour and moodsfor changes.

There is a stereotype that going to a parent or teacher to report bullying will only make things worse sure, the bully might get punished, but eventually they'll be back and things will be worse than ever.

But Vaillancourt saidresearch shows that's not the case. In fact, most research suggests if a kid tells an adult about bullying and some action is taken the torment tends to end immediately.

Of course there are exceptionsthat kids can cling to as a reason not to tell someone about what's going on.

"Theproblem is that kids don't trust us," she explained."They think we'regoing to screw it up and they'll always find an example of when it did get screwed up."

What can schools do?

The key for schools is to react quickly. Vaillancourtsaid based on what she's read about what happened with Devan, she believes it's possible his reports about bullying should have been taken more seriously.

"It soundslike there mighthave been a few lapses here and there with respect to this young man who eventually lost his life," the professor added.

The HWDSB says it will conduct its own investigation into what happened and a formal review of its practices following the teen's death. A critical incident response team isalso working to reassure students and staff at the school.

Vaillancourt pointed out schools have disciplinary tools like suspensions and expulsions they can use to confront bullies. The main thing is to do something, early, so the abuse doesn't evolve.

"We don't need totolerate this bullying is a slippery slope. It starts off with little incivilities and then it grows and it grows and it grows."