Hamilton's strangest crime stories of 2015

Sometimes, the truth truly is stranger than fiction especially where Hamilton's criminal subcultureis concerned.

In the spirit of looking back on the year that was, CBC Hamilton has compiled a list of some of the weirdest crime stories in the city in 2015. Have a read, and marvel at some of the things that actually happened this year.

Hamilton woman pukes in cab, hurls vomit at driver

As far as crimes go, this one was definitely one of the year's grossest.

The trouble started on a January when a drunk woman riding in a cab started throwing up.

That would be enough to ruin any driver's night but when she was informed that she'd had to pay a cleaning fee, the woman freaked out and started scooping up her own vomit and tossing it at the driver.

She then tried to run away from the cab, but was tracked down and arrested by police who no doubt gave her a wide berth while slapping the cuffs on.

Man arrested for pouring syrup on sidewalk

The only way this one could have been more Canadian is if it happened inside a Tim Hortons.

In June, a 56-year-old man was arrested for mischief for pouring what was believed to have been maple syrup onto a downtown sidewalk.

We say, "What was believed to have been maple syrup" because nobody actually tasted it. (And come on, would you?)

City crews had to lay down "absorbent material" to clean up the mess. No word on if that material was waffles or pancakes.

Man breaks into Dundas homes to take a nap, drink and eat pizza

While there's nothing at all wrong with raiding the fridge and taking a nap, you should probably do it in your own home.

Back in May, aman broke into two Dundas homes and then proceeded to make a pizza and drink a bunch of wine before taking a nap in ahomeowner's bed.

The owner got home at 7:30 a.m., "removed" the stranger from his bed, and then called police.

Vandals charged after Hamilton Police HQ sign damaged

If you're going to vandalize something, you should probably make sure there aren't dozens of cops 15 feet away from you.

The two men who beat up the sign in front of police headquarters in July were "found to be under the influence of alcohol."

Shocking.

'Consensual fight' interrupted by hatchet attack

What is this world coming to? You can't even have a "consensual fight" in an apartment building anymore without someone swinging a hatchet at you.

Two men were trading blows (but consensually, remember) in a common area at a downtown apartment back in November.

Then a third man came running out of his apartment swinging an axe around.

Strangely enough, he was the only out of the three to get arrested.

'Out of control' fish assault sends police to Dundas

What do you even say about this one? Hamilton police were called to a Dundas home back in August after a man started using a dead fish as a weapon.

Like you, our minds immediately went to the great Monty Python with this one:

'Egg-shaped' senior wanted for pepper spray robbery

Back in September, detectives announced they were looking for an "egg-shaped" senior who allegedly broke into a North End home and then pepper sprayed and robbed the occupants.

At this point, it's unclear if police were searching for Humpty Dumpty or Doctor Robotnik.

adam.carter@cbc.ca