Self-harm: St. John's woman bares scars on Facebook to end stigma - Action News
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Self-harm: St. John's woman bares scars on Facebook to end stigma

A St. John's woman is opening up about years of abuse she inflicted on herself through new Facebook page that shines a light on the stigma associated with self harm.

Everyday is a struggle ... you learn how to cope with it," says Emma Duffett

Emma Duffett would cut herself multiple times a day. (Eddy Kennedy/CBC)

EmmaDuffettstarted cutting herself when shewas12-years-old. Now, she's openingupabout heryears of self-inflicted abuse inthe hopeof helping others.

"I wanted to show everybody that it's okay to let people in and you don't have to deal with this alone," said Duffett.

"It's a big burden as it is to have a mental illnessand people don't need to deal with it on their own."

She's sharing her story though anewFacebookpage calledOut of the Darkness

Emma Duffett has had reconstructive surgery to cover years of scars. (Out of the Darkness Facebook page)

Living in silence

Duffett said she would cut herselfmany times a day andeven though her family knew, it still took her a long time before she could talk about her illness.

"I never talked about itit's only the last two or three years that I've been able to say the word suicide and I've been suicidal since I was six years old,"saidDuffett.

"I think it was just a way to let out my frustration, I don't know.It seemed to do something for me to make me feel better in the short termat the end, it just came that it didn't do anything for me anymore."

Opening up

Duffett said she hasn't hurt herself in around four years.

The images on her Facebook page aregraphic, but she believes letting go of her own shame will help others.

"If I can put myself out there to the public ... then maybe I can convince them to share it with somebody and not keep it to themselves," Duffett told CBC.

"The things I've posted are very personal and I've kept them inside for so many years,and so shameful, and you shouldn't be ashamed."

I never talked about itit's only the last two or three years that I've been able to say the word suicide.- Emma Duffett

Duffettfeels that educating people about mental illness is a step in the rightdirection.

She said her Facebookpage hasbecome a resource for parents, friends and teachers who are not sure howto help children who are injuring themselves.

There have been many conversations withfamilies who have lost peopleto suicide and she said thecomments are the same.

"They never knew anything was wrong and if they did they could have done something".

Duffett's 'Out of the Darkness' Facebook page has become a resource for others who know people dealing with a self-harming illness. (Eddy Kennedy/CBC)

"The biggest thing is just listening and just try your best not to judge because if your child is self harming and having troubles like that, they're already judging theirself way more than you could judge them," said Duffett.

"And they just need some support and someone to listen to them and be there for them."

'It's not funny'

As for the negativity that sometimes comes on social media, Duffettsaid she was ready to do this and can face whatever comes along.

"I've been dealing with this just about my whole life and there's probably nothing anybody can say to me that I haven't already said to myself I just want to help people," she said

"Mental illness, it's not funny, it's really not funny and if people saw the people I've seen deal with mental illness, and suffer through it for months and months and years and years, they wouldn't find it very funny either."

While Duffett began hurting herself in junior high,she believes based on comments posted to her pagethere are many younger kids who are self harming.

"I think it's very common," she said.

"Back when I was going to school I don't remember anybody else who was dealing with what I was dealing with or doing what I was doing, so it had more stigma back then," she said.

"I didn't even know what it was, I was just doing it and didn't know why and it took me years to figure out why."

Duffett's Facebook page has hundreds of followers and she's planning a conference on self-harm which will includefirst responders, teachers and medical professionals.

"Everyday is a struggle it's not something that's going to go away but you learn how to cope with it."