New school jitters, cellphones and separation anxiety: How these moms handle big change

The brand new backpack. The smell of crayons. The first-day fashion show. And all the paralyzing fears that grip children and parents alike this time of year.

It's the season of change, for families with kids in school. Maybe this is the first year the little one takes the bus. Maybe they stay up a little later this year. Maybe they're coming home alone after school for the first time.

Or maybe, like Finnegan McMeekin, they're going to kindergarten.

"He's excited. I don't think he quite knows what's coming yet," said Finnegan's mom, Rhonda McMeekin, over coffee at a Mount Pearl caf.

"He knows that he's going to kindergarten but I don't think that he quite grasps that school is for the next 13 years."

CBC asked her and Jana Smith how they cope with the transitions and decisions this season brings.

Watch: Jana Smith and RhondaMcMeekin's full conversation

McMeekin said the start of school represented a huge shift for her family something Smith empathized with.

"Kindergarten is hard, like you're letting them go," she said.

"All I did was cry when I dropped my little boy off."

Moving to a new school

Smith's little boy, Jacob, is now in Grade 8 and her daughter, Maria, is in Grade 4. The first day of school has gotten easier over the years, she said, but this year brings a new challenge.

Maria is moving to a new, bigger school where she'll be among the youngest cohort. She worries about the change will the older kids be friendly? Will the teacher be nice?

"She has a bit of anxiety about thatbut I keep reassuring her she'll see all her friends," Smith said.

"They're all in the same situation."

Even though her youngest is still years away from going to school, McMeekin worries about how he'll deal with the changes in his family.

"My two-year-old is very close to his big brother, and big brother loves him just as much. They're inseparable."

Seamus is used to going to daycare with Finnegan, but this year, he'll be flying solo.

"When we tell him that, 'You know, Finnegan is going to kindergarten this year,' he goes, 'I go to kindergarten, too!'"

The screen timequestion

As kids head back to school, parents must contend with a host of new decisions on things like screen time and smartphones.

Do you give your child the same access as all her friends? Or try to shield him from the online worldfor as long as possible?

Smith decided Jacob could handle the responsibility the summer before Grade 7.

"He was going farther away from the house, he was out riding his bike," she explained.

"I just needed that reassurance."

McMeekin said her boys use iPads, but she limits their screen time and has a strict no-YouTube rule.

"They charge their iPads once a week and once that charge is gone, it's gone so they kind of learn to limit themselves."

McMeekin wonders if Finnegan's classmates are YouTube users, and whether it's unfair to keep him off the video streaming site.

It's one of many things, she admits, she worries about as she lets her little boy head out in to the wider world.

"He's going to be OK," she said."The rational side of me knowsthis. It's the irrational side of me that worries about all those scary things that you hear about school nowadays."

Smith, with a son in junior high, worries about social media, bullying and all the horror stories parents hear.

But the fears subsidewhen she sees her children maturing and handling new challenges.

"It's just us that need help," Smith laughed, "we're the ones that are worrying all the time."

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