Why writer Michelle Hbert thinks happiness isn't something you chase after

In the middle of winter, in the middle of a pandemic, where do you go to find joy? Maybe it's a physical spot, or a memory. Our Happy Place series explores both.

MichelleHbert's been chasing joy much of her life.

"If I got that job, then I'd be happy. If I found the right person, then I'd be happy. If I could take that vacation, I'd be happy," saysHbert."When I chased those butterflies, they almost always flew just out of reach."

And then 2020 happened.

"As for so many of us, this past year has forced me to dig deep to find happiness. Along with the pandemic, 2020 brought me divorce, sickness, work stress, and the pressure of finding a new place to live. (If I threw in a pickup truck and a banjo, it would be a perfect country song.)By the end of the year, I felt like 2020 had crushed me under its heel."

But something changed.

Listen to Hbert'saudio essay Chasing Butterflies to My Happy Place to hear how a childhood memory, a cat and Christmas treelights helped shift herperspective.

InMichelleHbert'swords:

Nova Scotia has come through dark days, and we don't know what 2021 has in store.

But I won't trick myself into thinking that I'll be happier when the travel ban ends or once we can take off the masks.

Those things, my friends, are butterflies.

For now, I'll collect all the little points of light to keep in my memory, my happy place, to shine soft but sure when times get hard.

Someday, we'll look back and see there was happiness right here, in this quiet, strange world we're living in.

We can't capture it with a butterfly net, though.

We'll find it shining faintly in our darkness.

About the creators:

MichelleHbert is a writer and social policy specialist. She lives in Halifax, and is working on a novel featuring magic, mental health, and a butterfly or two.

Jessie Redmond is a Halifax-based fine art and portrait photographer, she also specializes in wedding and unit-stills photography.Jessiewas raised in Chester, N.S., and moved to Halifax to attend NSCADU where she graduated with a BFA, major in photography. She now resides on the Eastern Shore of Nova Scotia with a studio in Porters Lake.