Deadly day, lasting impact

Every year on Oct. 22, former House of Commons security guard Maurice Montpetit makes a solemn pilgrimageto the National War Memorial before heading to Parliament Hill.

He stands at the spot whereCpl.Nathan Cirillo, 24, was gunned down in 2014 before the sentry's killer,armed with a rifle and a long knife, raced up the Hill and stormed Centre Block.

• Ottawa shooting: A day of chaos leaves soldier, gunman dead
• Fallen Hamilton soldier Nathan Cirillo remembered 5 years after deadly attack

That day, Montpetit spenthours locked downin the antechamber and lobbies outside the House of Commons, comforting the MPs and othershiding there. Sometimes Montpetit carried a handgun, but on that day he was unarmed.

"There were MPs who were scared. An MP had her baby with her. Some MPs wanted to get out through windows and construction scaffoldings. I kept telling them, 'We don't know what is outside. Stay inside,'" he recalled six years later.

Confusion reigned. At one point, Montpetit heard over his radio that there could be as many as 13 gunmen on the building's roof.

The fallout was long-lasting.

"For three years, I comforted people. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't talk about the shooting."

Breakdown came 3 years later

Eventually, that took its toll on Montpetit. One morning in November 2017, more than three years after the attack, everything came to a crashing halt.

"Usually, I would have gone for coffee, stopped at the gym, but I did not do any of these things. I went to my locker to get ready. It took me about three hours to get dressed," Montpetit recalled. The intense fatigue he suddenly felt was tinged with terror.

"I was afraid I would see something coming out of a corner. I felt that I was totally out of control.I finished my day and then I cried, because I knew I wasn't coming back the next day."

Radio-Canada has learned that out of the approximately 30 House of Commons security guardson duty when the shooting occurred, at least 13 have since suffered serious psychological problems. One has taken his own life.

Montpetitsaid he wishesall the guards had been convened for a debrief following the attack. Instead, he said he returned to work the next day "as if nothing had happened."

'The Hill is a bad place for me now'

While returning regularly to the scene of the shooting has been an importantaspect of Montpetit's therapy, his former colleagueLouis Ltourneaucan't bring himself to go back.

"I try to avoid Parliament Hill," the Gatineau resident said. "My psychologist is in Ottawa. Technically, it would be shorter to drive near Parliament Hill. But I make a detour. The Hill is a bad place for me now."

I emptied my cartridge. Fifteen bullets. I didn't give him a chance to shoot back at me.- Louis Ltourneau, retired Parliament Hillsecurity guard

On Oct. 22, 2014, Ltourneau was standing in the Hall of Honour, between Centre Block's main entranceand the Library of Parliament, when he heard a boom. He turned his head to see the assailantat the top of the stairs,rifle in hand.

"I said to myself,'There is no way you're going to stop me from seeing my kids tonight,'"Ltourneau said. "He didn't stop running. I emptied my cartridge. Fifteen bullets. I didn't give him a chance to shoot back at me."

He reloaded and shot twice more. Bullets fromLtourneau's gun were among the 31 that struck the attacker. Ltourneauwas later decorated with the Star of Courage by the former governor general for his part in that day.

Haunted byflashbacks

Ltourneau'sretirement, forced by post-traumatic stress disorder, became permanent just a few weeks ago. Vivid flashbacks still haunt him.

"The first gunshot, when he enters the main door, and probably the end of the event, when I see him on the ground with the blood coming out those are the images that always come back."

Like Montpetit,Ltourneaufeltfatigued, but in his case it happened about two months after the shooting.

"I would be at work, and as soon as I had a 30-minute break, I would go to the constables' room and take a power nap. That's something that had never happened to me before. I could do 13-, 15-, 16-hour days without having to lie down."

Ltourneau'sdemeanourtook a dark turn. "I would blow up for no reason," he said. He first left his job in 2015, one year after the shooting. He tried toreturn in stagesthe following year, but it didn't work out and he left again.

He still has difficulty concentrating and suffers bouts of depression, but said the anxiety is the worst symptom. "Anxiety is the toughest thing. It's like a ball in here," Ltourneausaid, pointing to his chest. "It's a pressure that is there, that stays there, no matter what you door what you're thinking about."

Suffering widespread

According to the president of theUnion of Officers of the Parliamentary Protective Service,Ltourneauand Montpetit are hardly alone.

"The great majority of officers in the Parliamentary Precinct buildings on duty that day have suffered at different levels from the events," saidRoch Lapense.

That includes the guard who took his own life a little over three years after the attack.According to the man's sister, he was never the same after the events of Oct. 22, 2014.

Radio-Canada has interviewed several guards and supervisors, and has identified at least 13 House of Commons security guards who suffered serious mental health problems. Every intervieweeagreed the way they were treated after the attack only contributed to their stress.

Following the shooting, thegovernment of then-prime minister Stephen Harper moved quickly to reform Parliament Hill security.

Eight months after the attack, the House of Commons and Senate security services, which were in charge of security inside the Parliament Buildings, and the RCMP unit that was in charge of security on the Hillwere merged into the newParliamentary Protective Service (PPS). Management of this new service's operational matters was handed over to the RCMP.

"The guys felt like they had been shoved aside," Ltourneau said. "'You did a good job, but now we're the ones in charge.'"

'Heroes to zeros'

Security guards who had never carried a weapon suddenly had to undergofirearms training. The new "protection officers" were expected to perform a job similar to that of RCMP officers, but for less pay.

In 2017, the PPSreprimandedguardswho wore hats with the word "respect" as a sign of protest.

"We went from heroes to zeros," said Jean-Louis Franchi,another former security guard who was on duty the day of the shooting,and who has also suffered from psychological problems.

"When there is a suicide amongst your security guards, you'd think that as a boss you wouldask yourself questions. The employer will tell you it offered psychological support to the employees, but where is the moral support, the respect? The guys did heroic acts and you reprimand them because they are asking for better salaries and respect?"

PPS responds

In a statement to Radio-Canada, PPS wrote: "We take mental health issues very seriously. We have initiated a series of mental health and wellness activities for all our staff. Our goal is to make sure our staff have access to the proper mental health support they need."

The labour dispute lasted until the end of 2019, when the Federal Public Sector Labour Relations and Employment Board granted the officers a wage increase.

Ltourneau saidpsychological help was offered on the evening of the shooting to thesmall group of guards who had been directly involved, but hebelieves theiremployer should have done a better job watching for mental problems surfacing long afterward.

In his case, it came down to colleagues telling him he didn't seem well and recommending he seek help.

The lasting impact of the shooting on Parliament Hill

4 years ago

Duration 2:49

For some of the Parliament Hill security guards on duty on Oct. 22, 2014, the trauma of the day has had a lasting impact.

Oct. 22remains a painful anniversary for Ltourneau and Montpetit, but they are learning to cope with the horror of that day thanks to the professional help they sought.

"It saved my life," Ltourneausaid. "It's something you have to do for yourself first, and for your family."

"You will hit the bottom and even beyond before you go back up. It's normal," said Montpetit, who now tries to find peace of mind bydoing what he likes best: music and camping.

Now, the two men have agreed to share their stories to encourage others who arestruggling with similar issues to seekpsychological help.

Need help? Here are some mental health resources:

• Association qubcoise de prvention du suicide: 1-866-APPELLE (1-866-277-3553)
• Ottawa Mental Health Crisis Line(EN/FR) : 613-722-6914,1-866-996-0991 if outside Ottawa
• Distress Centre of Ottawa and Region(EN) : 613-238-3311