How a Sudbury family is using its experience with perinatal loss to help others

KayceeLavignewas in labour for 14 hours with her first son, Dominic.

When it was all over she was mentally and physically exhausted. That'sbecause she experienced a stillbirth when she was 29 weeks pregnant.

"I didn't even realize at the time that you could have a stillborn," Lavignesays.

That was in 2013. Now Lavigneand her husband Dan are providing a donation to the hospital in Sudbury they hope will help other families who must cope with a similar loss.

The couple isdonating what is called a cuddle cot to the birthing centre at Health Sciences North Thursday. The $5,000device isa temperature-controlled bassinet for stillborn babies.

Not enough time with baby

Lavigne says she was so exhausted after giving birth that she didn't get time to spend with her baby before he was taken to the morgue.

"When that time comes and [baby is] there you are just so exhausted ... so having things in place and options for you is just a great step.

"I think that if I had had this option and did have him in the room with me, Ithink it would have helped in the grieving process, having spent the time with him and having held him would have helped my personal grieving," Lavignesays.

The cot wouldalso be useful if a family member is out of town and needs time to get to the hospital.

"Having the cuddle cot in our hospital will mean that this child can literally be right beside the family. The cooling unit will help preserve their bodies."

In memory of Dominic

Lavignesays the donation is in memory of their son, Dominic.

"I really wanted to do something in his memory and for him."

Lavignesays the topic of perinatal loss has become ataboo subject - not a lot ofpeople want to talk about it.

Perinatal loss is the loss of a pregnancy, including miscarriages, stillbirths and ectopic pregnancy.

According toStatsCanada,one in four pregnancies endin loss.

"People don't like the thought of death in general,but the loss of a baby or a child ... is not acomfortablesubject for people,so I think they kind of stay away from it because of that," Lavignesays.

Lost children matter

However, she adds thatforparents who have experienced an infant loss, it's important for themto talk about thosechildren.

'Hearing our baby'sname is the best thing in the world."

Lavignedoes have a message for families grieving the loss of their babies.Thoselost childrenmatter.

"My son is still my son and Icount him in the number of children I have."

The couple now has a second child, Theo, who Kayceecalls their rainbow baby, because he was born'after the storm'.

"In time the burden lessens, butwe will never ever forget our children."