Women's shelter, social worker speak out on domestic violence following LaSalle, Ont., homicide

WARNING: This story contains a reference to a possible suicide andintimate partner violence.

Following a homicide in LaSalle, Ont., that police suggest may be the result of intimate partner violence, service providers whohelp women in abusive relationships in the regionare speaking out to empower them and prevent future incidents.

On Saturday, LaSalle police said they found 34-year-old Amanda Lyonsdead inside her homeonSugarwood Crescent. Police have named Amanda's husband, BlairLyons, also 34, as a suspectand there is an ongoing investigation.

While Blairdoes not have a criminal history, police have been called to the home once before,Const. Terry Seguin said Monday.

Police are searching for Blairandsaid there is evidence to suggest he jumped into the Detroit River on Saturday morning from the Ambassador Bridge.

Sylvie Guenther, executive director of Windsor's Hiatus House, told CBC News that while there's no confirmation on what took place in the Lyons case,if it was the result of gender-based violence, she wants women to know there are resources available to support them.

"It's important that we talk about it.I think the more that we talk about the issue, the more we can do to change it," she said.

"We need to be aware that this happens and we are all responsible for making it different ... so let's talk about it so that itdoesn't continue to happen to other women."

Hiatus Housein Windsorseeks to end violence against women and children. It offers a 24/7emergency shelter and crisis line for women.

According to a list compiled by the Ontario Association of Interval and Transition Houses (OAITH) and researchers at the University of Guelph, the last reported femicidein Windsortook placeon Oct. 3, 2021.

Femicideis generally defined as the killing of women and girls, especially by males, because of their gender.

OAITH uses an expanded definition of femicide that includes any killings of women or girls, and situations where men have been charged or deemed responsible.

In total, 58 women and girls died violently in Ontariolast year.Researchers use public material and media reports to make their list, which is "partial" and could include "errors or omissions."

In the last year, Guenther said, Hiatus House received 3,000 crisis calls related to domestic violence or human trafficking, and in the past 11 months, the organizationhas sheltered 337 women and 159 children.

She said staff are hearing of an increase in the frequency of violence and heightened aggression in the incidents that are reported to them.

At the beginning of the pandemic, she said, they saw fewer crisis calls, but that they eventually began tosteadily increaseand are now consistent with previous years.

Warning signs of an abusive relationship

Oftentimes, Guenther said people who call the crisis line want to know if what they're experiencing is considered violent.

"It can be quite subtle, where somebody might be feeling like, 'This shouldn't be right in a relationship,' if that's a thought it's probably true and worth exploring further. It's these subtle forms of oppression that sort of start and as that goes on it becomes more heightened and intense," she said.

Gisele Harrison,a social worker with a private practice in Windsor, helps clients who have experienced trauma.

She told CBC News that often an abusive relationship is a "slow buildup."

"There is a certain amount of brainwashing that happens over time and increases to the point where she starts to doubt her worth as a person oftentimes," she said, adding gaslighting, neglect and violence for minor issues can be part of this.

She said the partner will also often try to distance the woman from her family and friends, so that she loses her support network.

Harrison said women should try to reach out to someone they trust or a women's shelter and get help if they are in this situation.

Some red flags for family and friends, Guenther said, include if the woman is normally outgoing and talkative, but is now being cautious and quiet or if the woman is complainingabout the relationship that indicate "oppressive" behaviour or that make it sound like she is limited or being watched.

"Often women in that situation, don't recognize it, it's somebody else who recognizes it first and so I think it's important that we are not silent as a community," she said.

"If the situation that happened here in Windsor is as a result of domestic violence, then it's an example of how we need to pay attention andspeak out for each other and learn to recognize the signs of abuse."

If you or someone you know is struggling, here's where to get help:

• Canada Suicide Prevention Service: 1-833-456-4566 (phone) | 45645 (text).
• Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 (phone), live chat counselling onthe website.
• Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention:Find a 24-hour crisis centre.
• Hiatus House Crisis line: (519) 252-7781

This guide from theCentre for Addiction and Mental Healthoutlines how to talk about suicide with someone you're worried about.