Looking for First Nations love: Indigenous dating life 'complex'

For the last eight years, Ive given a lot of careful thought to my dating life, and not just in just the typical way that you would expect of a millennial. Im a First Nations woman, and the issues of dating and marriage are complex for me.

As I get closer to having a family, Ihave a clear trajectory ahead of me.

I want to have children with a status Indian man, preferably one who is connected to his culture, and someone who has over 25% blood quantum.

Its a tall order, I know.

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Just so we are on the same page, I use the word Indian because Im making reference to the Indian Act in Canadian law, not because I like or approve of the word.

Indian status and bloodlines

I was born to a First Nations (Tsilhqotin) man and to a non-First Nations woman. At the time of their marriage, the Canadian government was issuing Indian status to women who married native men, so my mother became "Indian"with all of the rights and benefits when she married my father.

This blood quantum stuff is complex, and leaves me vulnerable as its difficult to discuss, especially in polite conversation.- Lisa Charleyboy

I am thus considered to be a full blood Indian, also known as R(1) status. This means that even if I married a white guy, my children will have Indian status and be considered 50% First Nations, also known as R(2) despite that fact that their actual blood quantum will be 25%.

On Thursday there was a Federal Court ruling that would extend status toMtis.While this sounds promising, this decision will likely be appealed and be sent to the Supreme Court, so the dating pool hasnt quite widened for me just yet.

This blood quantum stuff is complex, and leaves me vulnerable as its difficult to discuss, especially in polite conversation.

Thankfully, Im not the only one who has been thinking of this. Ive talked to many native people who are also struggling with the same issues.

Its absolutely vital for us to actively be thinking of keeping our bloodline strong, within all aspects of our life, said artist Sarain Fox (Ojibwafrom Batchewana First Nation).

That means only dating native, and it means making the decision to only have children with another indigenous person. I think these are things we have an obligation to consider.

'Having status for my children is important because I grew up separate from my First Nations culture...[status] doesmake me feel like Im grounded because Im tied to my First Nations band.'- Lisa Charleyboy

While I am thankful that my children would retain their rights as status Indians, if I didnt marry an Indian, my grandchildren would not have statusunless they married another status Indian. It would be hypocritical of me to pressure them to marry First Nations only, if I myself didnt feel it was important enough to make that decision now.

Having status for my children is importantbecause I grew up separate from my First Nations culture and family, and wasnt rooted in the teachings, way of lifeand pride.

While I know that having a status card doesnt grant that, it does make me feel like Im grounded because Im tied to my First Nations band (Tsi Del Del First Nation) and not disenfranchised.

Cherylanne James is Anishinaabe (Ojibwa) of Chippewa of Rama First Nation. Her mother was reinstated Indian status after the amended the existing law with Bill C-31, which affected Indian women who married non-Indians, who were then reinstated and granted Indian status after their disenfranchisement.

Being able to acknowledge I am indigenous, having a card with a number on it, as awful as it is, it solidifies the fact that I am native, James said.

Having status comes with certain benefits like band membership, potential access to funding for post-secondary education (differs from band to band), health care, and the ability to hunt, fish, trapand gather on public lands.There are also possible tax exemptions, but those are way more narrow than you might think.

The Jay Treaty

Acommon misconception of having a status card is that you are able to go work in the United States freely under the Jay Treaty, when in fact blood quantum is the verification factor when heading south of the border.

A First Nations person can present approved identification alongside a letter from their band office proving that they are above the 50% quantum level to be eligible to have a Creation of Record so that they may eventually get a Green Card.

So you dont need an Indian status card issued from the government to go live, work, studyor retire in the United States, but that privilege wont be there for my children, if I decided to marry a non-status man.

Although Im considered to be 100 per centIndian by the Canadian government because my non-First Nations mother was granted Indian status, I am still only at a 50 per centblood quantum.

Confusing stuff. I hope you are staying with me here.

Cultural preservation

Like I said, I was raised outside of native culture.I was at a Toronto university across the country from my home territory when I discovered my cultural roots.My entire life I had felt ashamed to be First Nations and lacked the teachings, grounding, and pride that I later realized I was deeply missing.

I want a different life for my children,I want them to grow up strong and rooted in their culture and to be surrounded by a loving, traditional First Nations family.Its something I now deem more important than being able to afford private school for my kids. (Although that would be nice too).

I think its about cultural preservation when you have that person thats willing to also attend ceremony and learn about language, learn about native song, and dance, and the native creation story, says Thosh Collins (Pima from Salt River Pima-Maricopa Indian Community and Osage & Seneca/Cayuga).

While I value Indian status, cultural preservation is really at the crux of matters most for some.

Im not really concerned about affirmation from the government about who's an Indian, said Shane Keepness (Saulteaux from Muscowpetung First Nation in Treaty Four territory), who has just completed his master's in indigenous governance from the University of Victoria.

I'm more concerned about cultural relevance and the relationship and what we can offer to future children.

There are others who found beauty in the alternatives.

Lawrence Santiago (Coushatta from Lousiana and Chamorro Indigenous from Guam) has recently married an Italian woman in Chicago and they have just become parents toa beautiful young girl.

Preference is all that truly matters and its an individual choice, saidSantiago. Do you feel a calling to continue your bloodline, to keep the culture and share it with other cultures? Act accordingly and be true to your search for love.

My search for love has been a complex terrain to tread, but I feel that Im now on the right path to ensure that my future generations are strong in their indigenous roots and groundingeven if that means I have to take longer to find love than most.