'None of your business': Woman answers when she'll have kids in viral rant - Action News
Home WebMail Saturday, November 23, 2024, 07:37 PM | Calgary | -11.6°C | Regions Advertise Login | Our platform is in maintenance mode. Some URLs may not be available. |
News

'None of your business': Woman answers when she'll have kids in viral rant

33-year-old writer smacks down the practice of badgering young women about when they plan to have babies in a Facebook post that has now been shared nearly 50,000 times.

"You don't know who is struggling with infertility or grieving a miscarriage or dealing with health issues"

"This is just a friendly P.S.A. that people's reproductive and procreative plans and decisions are none of your business," wrote 33-year-old Emily Bingham in a now-viral Facebook post earlier this month. (Emily Bingham/Facebook)

Curious about when you can expect a grandchild from your son and his new wife? Orif those nice people down the streetplanto have another baby? Or why your high school bestiehasn't even started trying for kids yet?

A 33-year-old American woman (and thousandsof her supporters online) have a few words of advice:

"Before you ask a single 30-something if/when s/he plans on having children because, you know, clock's ticking ... just stop. Please stop."

Freelance writer Emily Bingham ofAnn Arbor, Mich.took to Facebook earlier this month with a much longer version of the message above after having dinner withmembers ofherboyfriend's family.

"Someone had made a joke about grandkids, pointed at me, and it wasn't the first time I'd had somebody make a comment like that,"she told The Detroit Free Press duringan interview Sunday."I think I finally felt mad enough about it to say something."

Knowing that pregnancy-related photos tend to attract attention, Bingham decided to vent her frustration on Facebookby postingan ultrasound image she'd found using Google Images.

Michigan-based freelance writer Emily Bingham is being hailed far and wide this week for saying what appears to have been on the minds of many young women who've dealt with questions about when they're having children. (Emily Bingham/Facebook)

"Hey everyone!!! Now that I got your attention with this RANDOM ULTRASOUND PHOTO I grabbed from a Google image search, this is just a friendly P.S.A. that people's reproductive and procreative plans and decisions are none of your business,"she wrote in the caption of the Sept. 20image post. "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS."

Bingham went on to explain that, based on her ownexperience, questions about starting a family (particularlywhen they're about why someonehasn't started a family) can beboth invasive and hurtful for those who receive them.

"You don't know who is struggling with infertility or grieving a miscarriage or dealing with health issues. You don't know who is having relationship problems or is under a lot of stress or the timing just isn't right," she wrote. "You don't know how your seemingly innocent question might cause someone grief, pain, stress or frustration."

Later, in the comments section of the post, Bingham revealed that her rant waspartially inspired by a friend"who had to go through a stressful and heart-wrenching year of fertility treatments before conceiving her son, only to begin fielding 'When's baby No. 2 coming?!'questions within a MONTH of his birth."

Comments left by others both on the post and variousreactions to it,suggest that Binghamis far from alone in her stance.

Her original Facebookpostalone has now been shared nearly 50,000 times, and the words she wrote continue to spreadfurther thanks tomedia coveragein the U.S. and the U.K.

Binghamis one of several woman who've made headlines in recent months for speaking out on the topic of women being pressured to procreate, orwhat some refer to as "fertility shaming."

English-Canadian actress Kim Cattrallmade waves just this monthfor her comments about motherhood and derision of the term "childless," as did supermodelsTyra Banks and Chrissy Teigen.

Teigen, who says she's been trying to get pregnant for five years, told Banks on theirjoint talk show FABlife that she takes up particular issue with strangers asking about her family plans.

"Every single time I sit down for an interview with anybody I will say, just being two years into being married, the questions just come from all over," she said."It's kind of crazy because I can't imagine being that nosy to be like, 'So, when are the kids coming?' because who knows what somebody's going through."

This sentimentresonated with many people online after Binghamexpressed it in her post as well.

"People asking me about my child bearing plans drives me up a tree. Be they my parents or PERFECT STRANGERS,because that happens all too often,"wrote one womanon the original post.

"The uterus has powerful magnets that attract unwanted comments," wrote another.

Bingham'spost, whichcan be read in its entirety here, ends with the following words of wisdom for those who simply may not have known that their questions could be hurtful:

"Bottom line: Whether you are awanna-begrandparent or a well-intentioned friend or family member or a nosy neighbor, it's absolutely none of your business. Ask someone what they're excited about right now. Ask them what the best part of their day was. If a person wants to let you in on something as personal as their plans to have or not have children, they will tell you. If you're curious, just sit back and wait and let them do so by their own choosing, if and when they are ready."