The World Felt Chaotic and Miserable, So I Went Shopping

When the pandemic started, life moved a bit slower for me.

At first it was nice.

Because we were all together — we had time to enjoy new recipes, and finish a 1,000-piece puzzle (even my husband, who hates puzzles).

We were just trying to kill time.

We thought this was going to be a few weeks, a month maybe! So we enjoyed the slow pace and the fun activities. It was the start of spring break when it was declared to be a global pandemic, so I thought: what's a few more weeks at home?

But then schools were closed, group activities stopped, parks were emptied and cordoned off, and the only thing we could do was take a daily walk around the neighbourhood as a family.

The silence I craved before the pandemic became a menacing spectre of a global event that at times felt more like the end of "the old days."

This eerie history of a city under lockdown is no doubt familiar to many of you. I’m not telling you anything new when I say there were no sounds of kids playing. We all had different pandemics, sure, but there were new normals.

From the Archives: Mother Yumna Siddiqui-Khan is raising a money-smart child, in hopes of a future not filled with insecurity.

Boredom Set In

Kids expect you to have answers, but I had none.

Everyone around me was bored, and their anxieties were getting worse.

Like so many, I had no control over anything. But I’m the parent. So I had to come up with all of the ideas to keep my kids entertained, which is why it was very easy for me to turn to one thing: online shopping.

Let’s Go to the Mall Today (Oh wait, we can’t everybody)

We started theme weeks.

We would pick a country, and tried their food. We made crafts and built their most famous monuments.

We picked up some new words from languages that weren’t ours.

We even used the time to learn about our culture and heritage as Egyptians, which is why we started a family tree.

All of the activities meant I was shopping more and more. In the beginning, I told myself it is educational, fun and it keeps the kids entertained. All wins, in my opinion.

Just the Tip of the Iceberg

But this was just the beginning.

When curbside pickup started, it was an excuse to take the kids on a ride for a change.

In a world where an amble is your daily outdoor source of entertainment, it became fun to mix that up.

So we’d pick things up off the curb, grab some food and eat it in a parking lot off the trunk of our car.

Projects

Then came the DIYs.

We were spending so much time at home, that we began thinking of new ways to decorate it.

I would be watching a show and stop it in the middle to check sites and fill my carts.

Pretty soon, boxes were delivered almost every other day.

I was never a big shopper. But I became one during this pandemic, and the habit was being picked up by my kids.

Janice Quirt wonders if any of us, parents and children, will ever be the same after this pandemic is over.

This Isn’t Ending

With no end in sight, and more devastating news coming out, I told myself it’s time to splurge on things.

Why not, right?

It felt like a good a time as any to try new styles.

It became an activity: I would shop online with my teen daughter. And when malls opened, shopping was our go-to stroll between errands and appointments.

Every time I went out, I came back with a shopping bag.

The Change

I’ve always enjoyed shopping, but in my life I have been very conscious of my spending.

I would maybe splurge on a small thing every once in a while.

The pandemic changed that entirely — I would joke about my spending, and even share memes about it. But at the end of the day, I knew I had a real problem.

Pretty soon, I was buying clothes and not wearing them. And my teen mirrored the same behaviour.

I’m Not Alone

During the pandemic, many people were doing something to cope.

Some drank more, some took on exercising in their own homes, others shopped like me and some people ate.

According to Statistics Canada, e-commerce sales more than doubled year over year, with a 110.8 per cent increase compared with May 2019.

This is because people were using it for everything. It started for me with essentials and groceries, but it very quickly became an addiction.

Outside of my huge credit card debt, my biggest worry is this: my kids have been caught up in this, too. And I modelled it for them.

Paula Schuck had to make the difficult decision to step down as the money police for her teens. But for her it was absolutely necessary.

It Wasn't Always This Way

Previous to the pandemic, I raised my kids with the notion that material things aren’t important. The simple things in life are important. Deals are great, and thrifting is excellent, and money is best spent for us making memories and enjoying our time together.

But this pandemic tested me, as it did many. I’d venture to guess that many of you reading this also observed some character changes you couldn't have predicted, whatever they may be.

When your mind is full with the chaos of the pandemic, it’s easy to miss wake-up calls. And it's just as easy to “add to cart."

But now I’ve racked up debt. And that’s a consequence when you spend more than you earn, a lesson I want to teach my kids.

I locked my credit card and made a plan to pay it all a bit by bit to avoid interest. I decided to explain this to my teen daughter, so she would understand the consequences of over-buying.

We’ve amassed too much, too quickly. And we don’t use half of it. So we’ve purged — selling what we can, and donating the rest. It’s a weight off my shoulders, and it felt better than buying everything I wanted, and getting mail every other day.

This year tested me. I blame no one but myself. My biggest regret is that I didn’t acknowledge how easy it would be for my kids to pick up on my pandemic behaviours. But I’m glad I caught myself before I dug a hole I would not have been able to get out of.

It’s baby steps from here.

Hello, my name is Karen and I’m a shopaholic mom.